Pap your games into the public’s mind

Aug 28th 2008 at 12:21 by Tim Ingham

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It’s owned by Paris Hilton and her fellow Heat/Gawker-bothering ‘celebs’.

Pick up the biggest circulating newspaper in your country and have a look if you don't believe me.

The publicists and marketing reps that used to orchestrate our exposure to these plebs to perfection no longer matters much, either – because the public’s fascination has gone beyond what they’re willing to tell us.

We want more than prepared gossip. We want to know dirty secrets, who’s shagging who, who’s got what and given it to who... and whenever we demand it.

To coin a phrase, the lunatics have taken over the asylum.

And guess what? From a games perspective, you’re not doing enough to take advantage.

Don’t get me wrong, EA are justified in feeling a bit smug about securing a Natasha Bedingfield endorsement. Xbox should be pleased that they got Estelle and Duffy to wable over Lips.

But both could be doing so much more. And the measly column inches both stunts have achieved proves it.

Film knows it: Look at the way in which it wheels out its biggest stars on the red carpet when they have to hawk the latest Hollywood schmaltz.

Music knows it too: Noel Gallagher slagging off everyone and their dog on Radio 1? Oh look, there’s a new Oasis album on the horizon.

As yet, we don’t have that power. EA might be able to get Will Wright on Radio 1, but (a) no-one’s going to care and (b) he’s not going to call Amy Winehouse ‘a destitute horse’ (cheers, Noel).

One way to get round this, of course, is the good old celeb endorsement. Casual gaming has excelled in this already – with Bedingfield the latest in a long line. This is fine and dandy, but isn’t doing anything washing machine companies weren’t doing in the 1980s.

Another, riskier route is actually getting the celeb in your game. EA (again) has taken this forward by roping in the likeness and voices of Nelly Furtado, Fergie and more for its upcoming beach sports game.

But the way in which we could all take this to the next level – and with which celebs could help your platforms and titles finally become (whisper it) ‘cool’ – is to get ‘em papped. Caught with their pants down. Snapped by the red tops.

Think about it. What gets more attention? Natasha Bedingfield politely sitting in front of Boogie in a carefully arranged publicity shot – or Peaches Geldof falling out of the back of a cab holding her DS?

Yes, it’s tacky. Yes, it’s desperate. But the glamorous worlds of film and music have been doing this for years – and we need to fight dirty.

No-one’s telling me you PRs can’t do a deal with Jordan’s publicist to get her to drunkenly playing a Brain Training clone after her next jolly.

‘Sozzled Jordan’s brain needs all the help it can get...'

You could even give Lindsey Lohan a buzz and get her to wear your website URL on her pants: ready to be snapped by the waiting gutter press as she exits her next vehicle.

Just make sure she remembers to put them on before leaving the house.